Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Writing in the Heartbreak Hotel

Tuesday, August 11, 2:06 p.m.: Why is it that when your personal life goes all to hell, you either write the best shit you’ve ever written in your life, or you stare at the blank computer screen like its the MF you felt wronged you? I don’t know. But I’ve been alternately in both places for the past 4 hours. One moment, the ideas are flying so fast, my fingers can barely keep up. Then half an hour later, my emotional drama creeps in causing mind-numbing, creative-blocking interruptions along with bouts of tears that my sap-hating personality is sickened by. I’m a mess. But I’m gonna keep on writing. Something good has to come out of all this heartache. If you can, send some good vibes my way and pray I don’t take a sledgehammer to this damned laptop before I can get my emotions back in check.

Tuesday, August 11, 11:22 p.m.: What a difference nine hours can make. So I did not murder my laptop. As a matter of fact, I reeled myself back to reality by:
1. Being productive (very important for Capricorns) by writing 9 pages in my novel to add to the 9 I'd written the day before.
2. Treating myself to a delicious Rainbow Roll and the biggest $4.50 glass of plum wine I've ever had (@ the sushi bar at Camp Creek Marketplace for those of y'all in the ATL)
3. Listening to NPR's Farai Chideya interview Lalah Hathaway about her slamming new album
4. Soaking for hours in bubbles and baby oil, while forcing myself to read a self-help (aghast!!) article on finding happiness in Essence (July 08 issue for those in need). Those of you that know me know that all things self-help send me running in the opposite direction. But these days I'm finding them useful, and this particular story was GREAT.
5. Coming up with some wild ideas for this blog. Just wait. On tap are stories about me and Andre 3000, how I'm feeling about black love, and the bizarre things my child is doing.
6. Counting my blessings, especially the one where my daughter turned 2 at a birthday party on Saturday attended by 40 people who love her dearly.
7. And having several side-splitting and thoughtful conversations with close friends and family.

These may sound corny, but they worked for me. Hopefully I won't have to do them all again tomorrow. I don't think I have the energy.

Hey, did I mention that I wrote 9 pages today!?!?!?!

Take good care of yourselves, jd

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